Talking Things Further

T-time

Let me share with you some, how do you call them, nicknames? Last week I watched TV programs varying from National Geographic to a cook show to a crime series, and I learnt three expressions that I thought were so pretty, they are obvious blog material.

The first is T-Tail. Every airplane has a tail, but most have their elevator flaps (those horizontal surfboards at the back of the plane that make its nose go up or down in front) under the rudder (that vertical boogy board in the same spot). And some have those elevator flaps on top, giving it the shape of a T - hence the term T-Tail. Well spotted and named if you ask me.

Here's another: Twelve-Top. You know when you go to a restaurant and you make a reservation, once you get there, you are brought to a specific table. What you may not know, is that an entire jargon underlies that very system, and many restaurants are designed allowing for the room to be filled with couples to groups. It's quite a feat for a restaurant, when it books a large group, financially, but more importantly: logistically. It puts an entirely diffferent stress dynamic to the kitchen. So, if you book a table with a restaurant, and you happen to be a dozen, simply know that backstage you will be referred to as a Twelve Top and that the chef will treat his staff quite differently.

And finally - avoid learning this in real life, as it will mean you are a suspect in a crime. Because once you have been finger-printed, you will have, and someone can pull, your Ten-Card.

Language really is a beautiful thing.

The Duct Tapes

Yesterday, during a reunion with friends, our conversation over dinner without any logical reason came to duct tape. I'm still dazzling with amazement how such a simple yet distinctive product is the origin of so many anecdotes and stories.

This tape has created a life beyond its original meaning; to stick things together. My friend's daughter for instance makes wallets from the stuff. So I thought to google it. Here's two pictures I found:

Duct Tape is a brand manager's wet dream - to have a product become larger than its original purpose.

You can win a dress up contest, and this I really like: you can get stuck to a wall. Wonder what she did to deserve this?

it's really very simple

"By the way, Pooh, how do you spell Tuesday?"
"Spell what?" asked Pooh
"Tuesday. You know - Monday, Tuesday..."
"My dear Pooh," said Owl, "everybody knows that it's spelled with a Two."
"Is it?" asked Pooh.
"Of course," said Owl. "After all, it's the second day of the week."
"Oh, is that the way it works?" asked Pooh.
"All right, Owl," I said. "Then what comes after Twosday?"
"Thirdsday," said Owl.
"Owl, you're just confusing things," I said. "This is the day after Tuesday, and it's not Thirds - I mean, Thursday."
"Then what is it?" asked Owl.
"It's Today!" squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff was first published as a Childrens Book. Who made that decision? A grown up?

dot or feather?

An indian walks into a grocery store....

"Dot or Feather?" she interrupts me.

I like to tell anecdotes, and jokes. Certainly the ones which openly display cultural differences, without the aim of harming anyone. Which is also why I am a fan of Bill Bryson books, who quite refreshingly puts his own nation and nationality into relative perspective. We all could use more of that. So for the record; no, not all Dutch people are liberal and tolerant.

I'm pretty good at English, but when my dinner companion asked the question "dot or feather?" a whole new story started in my mind, making the joke redundant. It took me a while to process the two labels she put on Indians, and I'd never before had to make the difference clear, as the next sentence is in an Indian accent and the clue involves John Wayne.

You know what? Never interrupt a joke.

mini-saga

Daniel Pink, the writer of A Whole New Mind (and no, I won't dedicate every blog to him) has this wonderful recommendation for people who like to express themselves in creative writing. Thankfully, he also explains how hard it is to write something. In my office, I have put my own team to this exercise. As he says: "Mini-sagas are extremely short stories - just fifty words long...no more, no less. Yet, like all stories, they have a beginning, a middle and an end." There is one example I really need to share, courtecy not of Daniel, but of its true author Mr. Patrick Forsyth of Maldon, UK.

A Dream So Real.

Staying overnight with friends, his sleep was disturbed by a vivid dream: a thief broke in, stole everything in the flat - then carefully replaced every single item with an exact replica. "It felt so real," he told his friends in the morning. Horrified, uncomprehending, they replied, "But who are you?"

egographic

A very wise consultant once taught me a valuable lesson; "don't ever spend your communications budget on explaining the world what you orgchart looks like". This wise man from Sweden, an advertising guru actually, set my professional life on to two new courses: first he gave me the inspiration to become a communications consultant myself, and secondly he gave me that last push I needed to invent new words (see my blog on adorkable wherein I most likely contradict myself).

This need to invent new words is the proverbial itch that needs scratching. I am obsessed with words and seek out their true meaning in every context I can imagine. However, when I am so lucky to having invented a new word, or expression, or at least think I did, I will only apply it with a tongue-in-cheek purpose. And I make that clear. No client of mine will ever have to endure the nonsense of my trying to be more credible by circumventing the issue at hand; communications needs to delete breaking fluid from the operations of companies, not introduce it. For me, communications is synomym to clarity, not confusion.

But every now and then, I can't help myself. I have educated one client that he spent way too much money, time and resources to design a company identity and nomenclature that ensured his stakeholders were confused to bits who they were dealing with. I introduced the word egographic to explain the waste, and we could change course.

Another client, in dire straits because factories needed to be closed and people needed to be fired, yet the business needed to keep on running, and successfully. So I proposed we do a parallel performance - or rather, manage the reorganisation with a group of people that would put their day jobs on hold for the duration of the program. It proved a very common sensical route, but when as a c.e.o. your hair is on fire, you tend not remain all that practical.

The point is, many communications programs are very stressful for my clients, and a little sense of humor, no matter how harsh the outcome, truly goes a long way.

adorkable

I often observe that my profession causes its own confusion. People that work in creative and consulting jobs are sometimes so desperate for recognition, they try to augment their credibility by inventing words. As we can no longer rely on the true meaning of quality and innovation, we invent new words like ginormous and egographic (one of mine, actually). While I frequently try to object to this inflation of terminology, I also have more sane moments and simply embrace the fact that people's minds frame experiences around stories. My rule? As soon as a word makes you smile, it has meaning for you. It hits the mark. Don't question it. Find comfort in it. Find it as adorkable as it is.